I guess i have hit that point in my life where nothing makes sense. Last year this time I was supposed to move to Michigan and begin my life there with my, then, boyfriend. As everyone knows, nothing turns out as planned. I woke up on my 27th birthday and decided that I was going to break up with him. Not because I didn't love him anymore, but because I wanted to know if I was worth it to him. There were many things I asked of it and he just couldnt come through. Things such as sending a nice card or note since he was in Michigan and I was in California. Just something to show me he cared. Of the year we were apart I got 1 card that was for no reason. Also, he never came out to San Diego to visit me. So I told him I couldn't do it anymore. He obviously didn't want to, or think I deserves to be treated as I wanted to. I had some hope that he would fight for me. He never once looked back, he wouldn't put up a fight for me, he made it very clear that I was not the one he wanted.
I had met a boy at the bar a couple weeks prior to John and I breaking up. It was not because of this boy that I broke up with John, well, or at least not solely. I did not break up with John for Jason, but Jason reminded me that there are other guys out there. Sweet caring guys that would treat me the way I wanted.
Just as everyone suspected would happen, I started dating Jason. Things are going really well with us, but there are so many similarities between the two it makes me nervous. I have to push him to be motivated all the time. He is smart, but doesn't try and/or give him credit for knowing. He is 24 and still does not have his GED. He definitely has Peter Pan Syndrome. He does not want to grow up.
He is the sweetest, caring guy, he will do anything for his friends and family, but it always seems to get in the way of what he needs to do for himself. He doesn't find this as a problem because he always says, "if it weren't for them who knows where I would be right now!" I understand and respect that, but he isnt helping himself or his family by doing this. It truely aggrivates me that his family continues to always look to him to do everything for them. He has no sense of his own responsibilities.
I think I need to find someone who is cultured, traveled, well read, loves the arts, food and wine. I need someone who will challenge me. Someone who shares the same interests as I do, aside from going to the bar and sports! I don't want to change Jason, but I want him to learn to enjoy new things, but he is too stubborn. I am truely lost at the moment and seem to not know what to do next.
